Families

Cross cultures

By Carolyn Beukeboom
October 2000

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One of the hardest things for me when I made the commitment to join Scarboro Missions was the thought of leaving my family in Canada. I had grown up in a very loving, closely connected family in London, Ontario. As the day of my departure for Bolivia drew near, I had to say goodbye to my sister and two brothers and their spouses, as well as my two nieces and two nephews who were quite young and very unaware that they would not be seeing their Auntie for another two and a half years. Lastly, I made the difficult goodbyes to my parents who have truly nurtured my desire for mission and who have been a strong support along this journey.

Despite the sadness of the goodbyes I was filled with an excitement and contentment that this was definitely the right decision for me. I kept reminding myself of the Scripture where Jesus says, “There is no one who has given up home, brothers and sisters, mother, father, or children or lands, for my sake and for the Gospel, who will not receive in this age a hundred times as much...” (Mark 10:29-30)

It is always a challenge to leave what is familiar and comfortable to move into the unknown. I left my family of origin to enter into a new family with a new culture and a new language. On my arrival at the airport in Cochabamba, Bolivia, I was warmly greeted by Haydee and Felix who were to be my host family while studying Spanish at the Maryknoll Institute.

As we drove the 20 minutes across town to my new home I found myself taking in all the sights: the beautiful mountains surrounding this city situated at 8,500 feet above sea level; the large white Christ statue up on the mountain overlooking the city; the streets made of stones; the street vendors selling fruit, candy, and an assortment of other items; the houses hidden by large gates and brick walls; women using common washing areas to do laundry; and the many dogs running loose on the streets. They were all sights that I had encountered in previous travels before joining Scarboro Missions. Now they would become a part of my life for a much longer period.

Felix and Haydee live in a lovely two-story home accompanied by their two children Gonzalo (age 29) and Mariana (age 16), Felix´s sister Lidia, and their dog Bonita. (Most homes in Cochabamba have at least one dog if not three or four). The whole family has been very helpful in making sure my stay with them is a pleasant one.

They are a very lively and easygoing family who enjoy having fun and spending time with one another. Two other members of the household include the 17-year-old live-in housekeeper who assists with the cooking, cleaning and dishwashing; and the woman who comes to do the laundry every Thursday.

Having not been accustomed to this arrangement in Canada I found it very difficult to get used to at first. I could just as easily wash my own clothes and help with the household chores. However, I have to continually remind myself that this is a much needed job and source of income for these people without which they could probably not live adequately. Both women are treated well. The housekeeper is given time off in the evenings to attend night classes and further her education. This is apparently a rarity as most live-in housekeepers work long hours from early in the morning till late at night.

It is during mealtimes as I listen to the family members converse in Spanish that I feel like a foreigner and wonder will I ever really acquire this language. However, each day I am grasping more words and understanding more of what the general conversation is about. Learning a new language definitely brings one to the level of a child. I am constantly trying to listen to the new sounds, repeating words as they are spoken and asking, “How do you spell that?” Everyone keeps telling me, “poco a poco” (little by little) I will learn.

With it there also involves much patience, humility, and most of all a sense of humor. In one conversation I had with the family they asked me, “Te gusta helado?” (Do you like ice cream?), and I replied “Si, mucho gusto.” (Yes. Pleased to meet you.) I meant to say “Si, me gusta mucho.” (Yes. I like it very much.) We all had a great laugh. It is amazing how even simple instructions to a new card game become a challenge, yet a challenge that can be overcome by sign language, words and much laughter.

As well as being exposed to the Spanish language on a daily basis, this immersion into a Bolivian family has allowed me to learn firsthand about the problems faced by the people of Cochabamba and Bolivia in general; issues such as water shortage, unemployment, strikes and protests involving complete shutdowns of cities or no transportation within the country, corruption within government offices, and the many robberies that take place daily.

Taking a drive to a peaceful area outside town, playing cards, watching a movie or sitting down to a meal are moments of closeness within the family when I realize, despite the language barriers, how similar my new Bolivian family is to my own family in Canada. I feel privileged to walk with this family during my five-month stay here.

One day as I was taking the bus with Mariana, I casually remarked to her something about “her” house and she quickly replied, “It is not only my house, but your house, too.” I knew then that I am not just an outsider, but truly a part of my new Bolivian family. I am thankful to my host family who have so graciously welcomed me and have given me a home away from home.

After language study in Bolivia, lay missioner Carolyn Beukeboom will join Scarboro’s mission team in Ecuador.

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