TRAVEL WELL MY FRIEND

In preparing for mission overseas, five lay candidates form bonds of friendship and love within the Scarboro family

By Betty Ann Martin
October 2002

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As I sit in the warm heart of Africa, I have time to think about what it was that brought me here. Five months ago, when I started the Scarboro lay mission preparation program, I did not know what to expect. I did know that I had no intentions of becoming like the main protagonist in the novel, The Poisonwood Bible. He spent his time in the Congo forcing his beliefs and culture on the people. He alienated the African people and destroyed his family at the same time.

All my life I have had an avid interest in travel and the cultures of other peoples. God has been very good to me, blessing me with a wonderful family and few material needs. Now that my children are grown, I thought this would be an opportune time to give something back. So came my decision to join the Scarboro Missions family.

It appealed to me that if at any time during the training program either the Lay Mission Office or I decided that I was not suited for mission overseas, we could part ways with no hard feelings. If I incorrectly saw myself as Scarboro material, they would not allow me to make a terrible mistake. I learned to trust their judgment.

My friends had a field day with my impending entrance into the 'convent.' They wanted to know if they would ever see me before I left for Africa and they promised to spring me out for a night of fun away from all that sacrifice and deprivation.

I must admit that I was quite wary myself, thinking that I would have to make some excuse to get out even if it meant a trip to the dentist, who just happens to be a personal friend and could pass any news along to friends and family. We couldn't have been more mistaken.

Moving day

I moved my basic necessities in on Friday, January 4, 2002. I had not even begun to unpack when I heard one of the other candidates, Susan, talking about a good friend of mine. What a small world. Susan and I became fast friends.

I think Angela, a young woman in her 20s, arrived next with her trunk of toiletries, enough to last her through three years of mission overseas.

Next came Sylvie who is also young and who hails from Manitoba. Sylvie had all of her stuff with her because she had packed for mission when she left Manitoba. I learned a lot from her packing methods.

Last, but not least, was Micheline. Micheline was really the first because she had moved in before any of us, but had gone to spend a few days with her family. Right from the start, Micheline was our quiet intellectual.

So there we were, a sorry little group on that dull winter's day, not sure what was in store, each asking ourselves, "What were we thinking?"

At first we did everything together because we knew that if one of us got separated, we might never be seen or heard from again. This old building of Scarboro Missions dates back to the 1920s and is a maze of hallways and stairs.

Those initial nights we were in bed at 7:30 because we had nothing to say to one another, which, in retrospect, was unbelievable. Thank God we did go to bed early because morning also came early and none of us wanted to miss Mass. This was not because we were particularly saintly, but because if we did not go when someone came to get us for Mass, we would never find our way down to breakfast on our own.

Classes began at 9:00 or 9:30 in the morning and the thought of sitting until noon was hard to imagine. Up until then, I could sit for hours only if I was driving to a fabulous outlet mall hundreds of miles away. However, hope springs eternal because cookie breaks were scheduled for 10:30 and lunch was at noon. I started to feel that I might survive this test of endurance, and much to my surprise I did not find the classes hard to sit through at all because they were fascinating.

As a group we were getting to know each other. I enjoyed each of the candidates for different reasons and we had the beginnings of a strong team, not without its battles, of course, but better for them.

I found it interesting that although initially I wanted to escape to my former life at any cost, shortly into the program I found myself anxious to stay. Everyone in the Scarboro family-priests and staff-was so welcoming and helpful. No one was too busy to help us, or to take a minute to listen to our stories or share one of their own. The kitchen staff spoiled us and I will be paying for it for a long time. But the food was so good. And how I miss those cookies.

In our little group, it was fun having the age difference between us, and we were busy learning from each other. Angela taught me to be honest; Sylvie taught me to have faith; Susan taught me the liturgy; and Micheline taught me the proper use of English. I taught them everything they need to know about making a fool of themselves and being able to laugh about it.

Our team was forming quite nicely, to the point where we did not want to go our separate ways. Too soon, however, the program coordinators asked us to plan our missioning ceremony, marking the end of our training. At the ceremony, we would make our formal commitments to Scarboro Missions. This would be the final stage before beginning our overseas mission placements.

They told us that planning the ceremony together would be a true test of our teamwork, an important aspect of mission today. And we succeeded. We proved that we were made of tougher stuff. I'm not denying that there were some fierce discussions, but all were conducted with respect and civility, laughter and tears.

Missioning day arrived and we invited friends and loved ones, as well as our Scarboro family. Our group had taken great care in choosing the hymns and bible readings. I had asked my brother to 'give me away'; that is, to act as my sponsor, and I think he was quite pleased.

When I looked out at my family and friends seated in the chapel, I was surprised to see that they were all visibly moved. It made my heart glad to share this time with them and to know that they were happy for me in my decision.

As our days came to an end I wanted to renew, to take a refresher course, to do the training again. I wasn't ready to leave my Scarboro family here in Canada. I had that sad and sinking feeling, not because I was afraid of the unknown, but because I was leaving behind good friends.

And so I say to all of you, in the words of the Malawi people with whom I am now walking in mission, "Mwende makora nganya, mpaka tizakawonaneso." (Travel well friend, until we meet again.)

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