GRATITUDE

A Japanese pilgrim journeys to Nova Scotia to honour his mentor, Fr. Mike Cox

By Fr. Gerald Curry, S.F.M.
March 2005

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The letter came from faraway California, addressed to the pastor of St. Anthony's parish in Glace Bay, Nova Scotia. It was sent by Sadaoki (Sam) Okada, a Japanese American. Sam expressed his desire to visit the gravesite of Scarboro missioner Fr. Michael Cox who had passed away in April 2003.

Everyone was taken by surprise. Fr. Peter, the pastor, had a previous commitment and would be away when Sam planned to arrive. The Cox family - Fr. Mike's sister-in-law and her daughters - were not quite sure about the best way to handle this visitor from afar. They called on me because of my friendship with Fr. Mike and we began planning for Sam's visit.

Having spent the first years of my priesthood in Japan, some remnants of the Japanese language remained with me, so I was designated to pick Sam up at his hotel in North Sydney.

However, Sam spoke English well. On the drive to Glace Bay, he told me that as a boy he attended Fr. Mike's weekly English classes in the county parish of Mizunami, a small city about an hour's drive from the port city of Nagoya in Central Japan.

While Sam studied English, he developed a deep respect for this cheerful and concerned priest from Canada. I knew Fr. Mike very well and knew the love and respect afforded him by the Christians and non-Christians he served in Japan. So Sam's affection for Fr. Mike was not a surprise.

In coming to visit Fr. Mike's resting place, Sam was doing what Japanese do if given the chance - he was fulfilling a deep-seated obligation based on love, respect and gratitude for a person who had significantly affected his life. The Japanese refer to this as "on" (pronounced ohn). Most of the time it is directed toward parents or someone of great significance in their lives.

After graduation from university, Sam moved to the United States and settled in California.

He established himself with a good job, married and raised a family. His respect for Fr. Mike led him to name his firstborn son Michael. I guess that says it all.

We went directly to the graveyard where the Cox family was waiting. Under a sunny sky, Sam met the family and we all stood quietly as he fulfilled the purpose of his journey and paid quiet respect. With a deep bow of his head he prayed as Buddhists pray and then knelt to touch the grave of his mentor and friend.

We then visited the nearby parish church where Fr. Mike had, from time to time, offered mass and where his funeral mass had been celebrated. We went on to the home of Fr. Mike's sister-in-law Kay, where we had lunch and visited with her and her daughter Francie, her son Michael, and George Cox, another nephew. Sam was eager to hear about Fr. Mike and his family, and shared his life in California with them.

Soon the time came to say goodbye. Sam and I returned to North Sydney via a trip along the ocean, through New Waterford. He would be driving back to Halifax the next day to catch his return flight home.

A few days later I received a thank-you note from Sam. He wrote: "I was so glad to see you and all the Cox family. Since I met Fr. Cox when I was in Middle School, he has been an inspiration and a mentor to me. On the day I left the hotel, it was chilly, but I received inspiration from Fr. Cox as I was driving the uphill highway (over Kelly's Mountain to Halifax). I believe Fr. Cox is still in my heart and is blessing everyone just as he used to."

Fr. Gerald Curry, former editor of Scarboro Missions magazine, now lives in Sydney, Nova Scotia.

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