Nourished by their faith

We are strengthened by their selfless witness of love for the most vulnerable

By Beverley and Ray Vantomme
October 2005

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As we journey through life, many people touch our lives. Some have such a profound impact that we are challenged to reflect on what it means to follow Jesus as individuals and as community.

Two such people, Vijera and Tawonga Ogalu (not their real names), have been friends of ours for nine years. We have known them from the time they began their careers in the health service. We have watched as their friendship grew into marriage. This year they proudly presented their new daughter to the community.

However, amid this time of love and joy Vijera and Tawonga, ages 28 and 29, have experienced tremendous pain, suffering and fear. Tawonga had malaria in the first and third trimester of her pregnancy, requiring Quinine injections. The use of Quinine during pregnancy, especially during the first trimester, can cause a fetus to abort. Fortunately this did not happen.

Prior to the birth of their child, two tragic losses occurred. Vijera's twin sister and two of Tawonga's sisters and their husbands died of AIDS. Each sister left behind two young children. Welcoming these children into their home, Vijera and Tawonga now had six children to parent before their own baby arrived.

As well, during their sisters' illness, Vijera and Tawonga cared for them. When a family in Malawi accompanies a person dying with AIDS, it involves hands-on caregiving and multiple stays in hospital where a family member must be present to tend to the patient's basic needs such as bathing and meals.

In recent months, two of the children have been frequently ill, with the youngest (four years of age) having open sores that are not healing. Vijera and Tawonga decided to have all the children tested for HIV and the two children were found to be positive. Now the couple has had to face new realities and struggles.

With HIV, the need for everyone in the household to have their own towels, cutlery, cups and so on to cut down the risk of cross-infection, is unaffordable for them. However, through donations the family is being assisted.

They also needed to go to the capital city of Lilongwe, a four-hour drive away, for assessment and testing for antiretroviral treatment for the children. Since they were unable to afford the transportation and overnight costs, Ray took them and accompanied them through this process. He was moved to tears when he saw many children waiting in long line-ups to be assessed and treated.

Before the process began, the counsellor led a prayer with this new mini community of parents with HIV positive children. Tawonga said she felt strengthened by Ray's presence and support. She also said that when she saw all the other parents and children she did not feel so alone.

The young boy with the open sores is now diagnosed with tuberculosis. The HIV virus weakens the immune system and a person is vulnerable to diseases such as tuberculosis, pneumonia, and malaria. The doctor recommended that the child be admitted to the hospital, however the family does not have anyone to stay with him and care for him during his hospital stay, nor do they have the financial means to hire someone to do this. Next week the entire family will be tested for tuberculosis.

In their two years of married life, this young couple has experienced what some couples never have to face in 40 years of marriage. Vijera and Tawonga accepted a family of children before even having a child of their own. They worry about providing the basics such as food, clothing and medicines for the family and also about providing for their education. Often this couple eats but one meal a day (if that), to ensure that the children eat.

Yet amidst all the worry, fear and the unknown of each day, they survive. Vijera and Tawonga smile and laugh a lot and lift others up. They are joy filled, coping by sharing the day with each other and talking things through together and with others.

We are so privileged to be a small part of their journey, helping where we can. However, we are often only a listening and encouraging presence. Actually we are receivers. We are strengthened and nourished by their faith, their hope and their witness of the love of Jesus to the most vulnerable of God's children.

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